I met my younger self for coffee the other day…

I met my younger self for coffee the other day.

She showed up 15 minutes early and sat in her car until she was 5 minutes late. I walked in 3 minutes late and grabbed a table.

She ordered a chai tea latte, I did too. We both smiled, chai tea reminds of us of our mom.

She told me she’s ready to get out of her small town. That she feels like there is something else out there, something more fulfilling, but she can’t quite place what it is yet.

I told her that I live in Washington, D.C. now, but that her small town still holds the people she loves most dearly in it. I told her she should be excited for what’s to come, but to not rush too much because there will be days she will miss her local coffee shop and the big trees surrounding her. I also told her that there will come a day when she realizes no where on earth will ever feel completely like home.

She said that she doesn’t know what she wants to do with her life and she’s pretty tired of people asking.

I laughed and told her same. But I reassured her that she will find her footing soon, and that she might even learn to enjoy the mystery of life. I told her that her identity won’t be in her job or how much money she makes, it won’t be in her circumstances, accomplishments, or status. I told her people will always question what she is doing, but she will soon have a new found confidence when she makes the right choice.

She told me about her friends, how she couldn’t imagine going away to college and leaving them.

With tears in my eyes I told her that I haven’t heard from most of my high school friends in years. I think about them though-quite a lot- and I hope they think of me. I showed her some photos of my life in D.C., the friends I’ve made here and the crazy opportunities I’ve found myself in.

She scrolled through the photos and asked me how I looked so happy.

I told her about a man named Jesus.

I told her that life doesn’t actually get any easier as you get older, but by the grace of God I was given the best light post to cling to when it starts to get dark. I told her that this happiness is actually called joy. It stems from the love of Christ flowing out of His people, and I have experienced enough joy in the last few years to last a lifetime- but the Lord promises so much more than that. I told her that knowing Him is an intentional choice I make every single day, which probably won’t make sense to her until she steps out in faith. But He is waiting for her when she’s ready to make that choice.

She sat there silently, probably thinking “what the heck? I’m atheist.”

I asked her if she wanted to except Jesus as her Lord and Savior.

She quietly shook her head no.

I told her that’s okay, knowing that His timing is perfect and that she has a little more life to live in the dark before He brings her to Him.

I can’t wait to get coffee again with her again soon.